Those of us working in racing need to help each other through these tragedies

The UK is learning to cope with grief right now. For those of us in racing, though, it's something we're sadly used to.

At Goodwood last week I met my fellow horsebox driver Darren Plumb on the loading ramps down by the stables. His wife, who trained Arabian horses, was tragically kicked in the head and killed by a horse just a couple of months ago. I gave him a big hug and asked how he was getting on.

It also struck me that I'd seen another colleague, Barry Baxby, at Goodwood just two weeks earlier. Between then and now, he had died after suffering a heart attack at Hamilton.

That day, coming so soon after the tragedy of Jack de Bromhead's death in Ireland, made me reflect on the dangers associated with riding and working with horses. Yet at times it feels as though no-one wants to talk about that great big elephant in the room.

The industry has safeguards in place that minimise the risks of accidents but, when working with horses, you will never eliminate danger entirely. Tales of lucky escapes are familiar.

The fallout when one of us isn't so lucky is where racing can fall short. The industry requires a level of inward and outward toughness that its entire workforce will have developed whether purposely or not. And while many more provisions are in place to support people, that degree of stoic toughness makes it harder for some to reach out and say, "I need help".

It can be so hard to deal with these tragic incidents because there's the possibility it could be us. How do you live like that? You take those daily risks and laugh them off with your colleagues the next day because that is what everyone else does, but it is not always enough.

As a community, we need to reach out to each other more, even if it's just sitting at the same table in the racecourse canteen and saying hello. Talk to those closely affected by tragic events even if you don't know them well and certainly don't avoid them; they have suffered enough loss already. It will mean a lot that you have acknowledged their pain and suffering.

It's why my question to Darren Plumb wasn't the stupid one some people might think – it gave him the chance to speak or left the door open for another day. Imagine thinking no-one wants to talk to you because they can't cope with your reality.

There isn't a manual for grief; we all deal with it differently. But there is always a place for human kindness and as a community we need to support each other through and beyond the tough times.

Julia Bennet is a freelance horsebox driver based in Lambourn and vice president of the National Association of Racing Staff

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