Spoiling Cheltenham Festivals since 2008 - or has the Mares' Hurdle not actually been that bad?

Ah, the Mares' Hurdle; spoiling Cheltenham Festivals since 2008. How it wasn't strip-searched at the turnstiles upon entry in 2008, I'll never know. Anyway, it sneaked in and we haven't managed to get rid of it since. The security was even more lax in 2021 when the Mares' Chase arrived without any invitation yet was granted access, but that's a conversation for another day.

The Mares' Hurdle is the first item up for discussion this week. What are we going to do about it, ladies and gentlemen? Anybody got any ideas?

My colleague Keith Melrose reckons we should keep it as it is but relocate it to Uttoxeter on Midlands National day; Kevin Blake says it should be turned into a 0-150 handicap, thus ensuring the most talented females wouldn't qualify, and he would do the same with the Mares' Chase. The rest of you seem to want it gone. Forever. Good riddance, you say. And give us back our three-day festival while you're at it.