Kieran Shoemark opens up about his addiction battle in candid interview

Suspended jockey Kieran Shoemark has candidly discussed his battle with alcohol addiction in a interview, just weeks before he is able to reapply for his licence.

Last month the Royal Ascot-winning rider admitted to a BHA disciplinary panel to taking cocaine three days before his rides on November 14. He has not ridden since November 24 and was officially suspended five days later. He is required to wait until May 29 before reapplying for his licence.

Speaking to Oli Bell on ITV4's The Opening Show, Shoemark recalled how a two-month spell on the sidelines following a horror fall at Lingfield last June, in which he broke six ribs and punctured a lung, sparked his downward spiral.

He said: "I was hospitalised for five or six days and that's when it spiralled downhill rapidly. That's when I was hitting my all-time low.

"I'm a recovering alcoholic and I have a drink problem. I went to my first AA meeting three years ago so it was no surprise to anybody, everyone knew I wasn't a so-called normal drinker.

"It's no good for anyone's mind when they have an injury and they're seeing everyone else riding winners. I was still able to walk around and do everything but not able to go racing. There was definitely a hole in my life and I filled it with other activities."

Shoemark was due to ride at Kempton when he was pulled aside and informed of the positive sample.

"That day at Kempton when the stewards called me in, tapped me on the shoulder and told me the news, it wasn't a surprise to me. I knew it was coming. But it was quite a harrowing experience being told that and I had three nice rides that evening.

"I had to go back into the jockeys' room, get changed in front of my colleagues back into my street attire, bag over shoulder and leave the races.

"When I got back into the car I had a driver with me and I sat back in the passenger's seat and I almost felt like I could breathe again.

"I'd been full of fear for the last six months to a year, guilt if anything. You're so worried about someone saying you're not good enough or whether they're hearing stories about you and you're trying to keep everything under wraps.

"Realistically everyone knows what you're up to and everyone did know what I was up to, they turned a blind eye to it for so long because I was still getting results, I was still riding winners for Mr Charlton. He stood by me for so long and provided me with some great winners, we had some great days."

High point: Kieran Shoemark celebrates his Royal Ascot win on Atty Persse in 2017Credit: Edward Whitaker

Shoemark praised Professional Jockeys Association chief executive Paul Struthers for his help organising and funding a spot in rehab following his suspension and is looking forward to restarting his career.

The jockey, who has been riding out for Charlie Hills six days a week over the last three months, added: "I very much hope my career gets back on track, I'm just trying to keep everyone happy. I'm here to turn up, do my job and to ride winners. It's all I've ever wanted to be.

"It's been a long journey but it's been worth it. It sounds ridiculous really, who wants to be caught in a profession and suspended for six months for something they love doing? But by the end of it, the last six months of my racing I wasn't enjoying it, whether I was going racing or not I didn't want to be there.

"It was a blessing for me because when it all came to an end I could concentrate on my recovery. As it's all going on you never have time to reflect on what you're actually doing until it all comes suddenly to a halt.

"Six months ago I thought my life was over but really it's only just beginning. It's been an incredible journey for me and I'm sure everyone around me will see the rewards from the effort I'm putting into it because you can only really do it for yourself."

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