'I wasn't able to cope' - ex-rider Kevin Tobin reveals mental health battle

Former jockey Kevin Tobin has spoken about his battle with depression and called for an end to the reluctance to speak openly about suicide.

A week after the tragic death of ex-jump jockey James Banks, Tobin spoke to the Racing Post about how close he came to taking his own life on two occasions during the final stages of his riding career.

Tobin, who quit the saddle in 2009, said: "I wasn't able to cope with [my] feelings. Racing constantly compares one person against another, one horse against another. I would do that, day in, day out. It made me angry, lonely and frustrated. I was just staring into a black hole with no clue how to get out."

Kevin Tobin in the tack room at BallydoyleCredit: Caroline Norris

Now training to become an addiction counsellor in the US, where he lives with his wife, Tobin hopes speaking out about his own experience will help those struggling with mental health issues in the weighing room and beyond.

He said: "Over the last 20 years suicide has become an option, especially for young men. I can't speak for everybody but I would imagine there are many people who have either attempted suicide or died from suicide who didn't actually want to die. They simply wanted to stop the pain. Suicide has increasingly become seen as a way of turning off that pain.

"Nothing is permanent. Even when someone is so sad they prefer the thought of dying to living one more day, that sadness is not permanent. The outpouring of love and sorrow for those people when they pass away should tell anyone who has their head in that space that there is so much love out there for you. The world is far better off with us in it than not. You will be all right, maybe not right now, but you will be all right."

Tobin added: "It's great that more people talk about mental health, but to not openly refer to suicide when someone has taken their own life is almost like being afraid to say 'cancer' after a person has died of the disease. If you don't fully embrace that the end result of mental illness is suicide, we are still leaving it out in the cold. That person who is thinking about suicide is still the outlier."

Responding to Tobin's interview, the Professional Jockeys Association (PJA) encouraged any riders with concerns around their mental health to ask for help and seek its services, while also stressing more work had to be done to better understand mental health problems in racing.

Paul Struthers, the PJA chief executive, said great strides had been made in the last ten years in the area of mental health and well-being for jockeys, with awareness campaigns, free access to sports psychologists and link-ups with the likes of Cognacity and Sporting Chance providing access to counselling and therapy.

He said: "Even though it’s only just over a decade ago, there was little direct mental health support in place for jockeys in Kevin’s day, and education and provision has transformed beyond recognition, especially over the last few years.

"We’re doing an awful lot but you can never do enough. We need to do more and will continue to."

PJA chief executive Paul StruthersCredit: Edward Whitaker

While admitting a stigma remains around mental health, Struthers was also keen to emphasise the importance of discussing problems alongside the support services offered by the PJA.

He said: "One of the easiest and most important things we can do is talk about it and given the pressures on jockeys it’s why I’ve been open about my mental health issues. I know the stigma over talking about mental health is still there but it really shouldn’t exist at all.

"What Kevin says is relevant to everyone, jockey or not. His words will ring true to anyone who’s contemplated or attempted death by suicide and will strike a painful chord with those left behind. Every time a Kevin, or a Graham Lee, or a Mitch Godwin, or a Kieran Shoemark or a Harry Teal talks about mental health I absolutely guarantee you it helps someone, somewhere."

Read Lee Mottershead's full interview with Kevin Tobin here:

'I was just staring into a black hole with no clue how to get out'

Any current or former jockeys can obtain support by speaking to the PJA, IJF, or by directly contacting the PJA's fully-funded provider of counselling services – Sporting Chance – directly on 0778 000 8877. Anyone in racing can call Racing Welfare on 0800 6300 443. The Samaritans can be contacted on 116 123.